In the first part of the article, I used a Taoist parable to describe the mastery of effortless actions. I also explained the reason, why we are chasing ourselves more often into unnecessary internal struggles. The good news is that if we can find a way to ground ourselves, we become able to question our inner chatter and to give a response that is more forward-looking.
The revolutionary discovery by neuroanatomist Dr Jill Bolte Taylor (The Whole Brain Living, 2021) that we are all – without exception! – born with 4 different characters, which are hardwired into different parts of our brain. The common perception – that the left hemisphere is responsible for logical, rational, analytical thinking and the right hemisphere for more creative, holistic thinking – has been discarded since the discovery by Dr Jill Bolte Taylor that both hemispheres have logical, rational and emotional center’s, too:
1️⃣. The thinking character of the left hemisphere, the Jungian terminology “Persona”, makes operational, task-solving, structured, reasoned decisions. 2️⃣ The emotional character of the same hemisphere, the “Shadow”, the “Protector”, the wounded, self-protective child within us, covers our beliefs about how the world works. 3️⃣ The emotional character of the right brain, the “Anima/Animus” is the playful, curious, light-hearted, open, non-judgmental child part of us. 4️⃣ While the thinking character, the “True Self”, is the joy of our conscious existence, the ability to connect, the happiness of genuine compassion, the ability to find win-win solutions.
What is also important to know is that left-brain characters can only perceive in the past and future time horizon, while right-brain characters can only perceive in the present. Because of the challenges of our environment, we typically live in a left-brain dominant state, mostly filled with anxiety and fear, as our 2nd character, our Shadow personality part, is constantly watching to see if we are in danger and how to avert it. It sounds the alarm far more often than it really needs to, and because it is more closely connected to our character 1, it proudly goes into action and avert trouble. An un-worked and integrated character 2 can be a source of a lot of unnecessary tension, we perceive far more things as emergencies than they are and react to them with tension.
I don’t usually put it in such categorical terms, but to the best of my knowledge, the only way out of overreacting to everything is to consciously bring the right brain characters back into our functioning. As these characters can be in the present, they are confident that they are not alone, they are able to change their perspective and thus to be at ease. Not to mention that, if we master the right practices, we will relatively soon be able to self-regulate and, beyond that, co-regulate, which are the two superpowers of the 21st century according to current experts in leadership science.
During each emotional wave, we have 90 seconds to deal with the hormonal effects that occur. During this time, we can observe the emotion, its flow in our body, and call in the other 3 characters, all of whom are on duty to restore emotional balance. That’s the timeframe we must decide, because if we go beyond 90 seconds, the hormones flooding our bodies will take over our thoughts. If we can use our 4 characters well, we can bring our decisions from an emotionally stable place and then communicate with an increased relational awareness.
If we miss this timeframe, we might become like the hedgehog in the old joke. One day the hedgehog goes to the meadow to bathe in the sun. He notices that the tall blades of grass cast a shadow over him, and remembers that the rabbit has a lawnmower, so he might ask it from him. He starts to walk towards the rabbit but remembers that the rabbit is jealous and grumpy. The last time he asked him for the screwdriver, he refused to help. He sadly falls back down, lies down in the grass, but the tall grass is still disturbing him. After a while, he rolls over and starts again. He gets three quarters of the way, but again, convinces himself that the rabbit is a jealous and stupid anima, turns back. Back to the meadow, lying out in the sun, shadow on belly. This time he pulls himself together, sprints to the rabbit, rings the bell, and the rabbit opens the door inquiringly: Is there anything I can do for you? ‘Go to hell with your lawnmower!’
If this is not your way and you are interested in how to call in the Brain Huddle, stay tuned for the third part. Coming soon!
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